Page 239 - October 12 , 2012

All of you who felt that Ville really deserved a good scare for just leaving his dear friend behind: now he's got one.

So, I spent 400 bucks on comic-making books over at Amazon yesterday, plus another hundred on shipping. That is...more than I have ever spent on anything in my whole life that isn't a computer or a drawing tablet. All I was going to buy was a couple of books on self publishing, internet marketing and some generic comic book guides as reference material for my final thesis, when I suddenly realized that books are insanely cheap and amazing and want all of them! So now I've bought 33 books on self publishing, internet marketing, comic book and graphic novel writing, paneling and storyboarding, perspective guides and some books on human anatomy because the one I currently have sucks donkey ears. I even bought a few DC Comics' guides, even though I don't really care for the visual style of their comic books. I'm still curious about the creative process behind it all. And I'll surely be able to pick up some useful information anyways, as deepening my understanding for comic styles that I don't particularly like will just help me zero in on a style that I would love to call my own .

On the subject of suddenly spending hundreds of bucks on comicking-books:  I really don't feel bad about it at all, even though my cheapskate's heart usually wails in agony every time I buy a friggin' candy bar on my wayhome from school (which is all the time). But this I feel good about, I'm basically investing in my own dream career and therefore myself. What's that one old saying, "you've got to spend money to make comics" or something? All my life since I've been a little kid I've been obsessing over money, compulsively saving everything I've got with some kind of mantra of "one day when I'm an adult I'll need to buy something expensive!"  I never knew what that something would be, saving money for my future was simply a process that made me feel safe. Now I finally do know what that something is, and if buying 30 books on Amazon is going to up my chances of ever making it as a comic artist I'm going to do it! Goodbye money, it was nice knowing you and see you never! Comics are my new best friend now, and if the universe really hates the idea of me becoming a professional comic-lady and I end up as a homeless bum instead, at least I'll know that I gave it my all.

I kind of feel like adding "dear journal" to the beginning.